Repentance

   Recently, I was asked how I gauge if an abuser is repentant. I explained that I have used 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 as a template for years. As I wrote out the exposition of the passage as it relates to abusers, I realized that the principles apply to every sin. By comparing the actions of others--and more importantly to ourselves--we can see the reality of our repentance.

2 Corinthians 7:10-11

10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. 11 For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter.

 

For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance…

·         "without regret, leading to salvation,"

·      Does the abuser regret losing control

·      Does the abuser regret the consequences he faces for his sin

·      Does the abuser regret the loss of prestige, respect, influence, etc.

·         "For behold what earnestness this very thing,"

·      Is the abuser working diligently to see a change?

·      Does he faithfully complete all homework?

·      Is his attitude serious toward changing his life?

·         "this godly sorrow,"

·      Does he consistently express sadness for the harm he has done to others?

·      When reminded of his sin, does the abuser apologize or complain about his sin being “brought up” again?

·      Is his sorrow focused on the harm his actions did to others or on the hardship they brought to him.

·         "what vindication of yourselves,"

·      This one is tricky at first glance.

·      Does the abuser so repent as to promote restitution for his actions?

·      Does the abuser now oppose control within himself and others with zeal and passion?

·      Are the actions of the abuser establishing a new life pattern in which an accusation of abuse would seem impossible? (For restoration of a minister, BCO 34-8 requires that it only be done when the sentiment of the church “demands it.” This is what I look for in a penitent abuser.)

·         "what indignation,"

·      Does the abuser hate what they have done.

·      Is the abuser “beating himself up” for the sins he committed.

·      This indignation will fuel the earnest repentance.

·         "what fear,"

·      Is the abuser terrified that they will abuse again.

·      An alcoholic once told me, “I know that I have another drunk in me. I am terrified that I might not have another sober. This “fear” kept him sober.

·      "what longing,"

·      Does the abuser look to the future with hope?

·      Does the abuser imagine what it will be like to be trustworthy and safe?

·         "what zeal,"

·      Is repentance the driving factor in the abuser’s life.

·      Is the abuser ever aware of his propensity to control and is he committed to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

·         "what avenging of wrong!"

·      Is the abuser willing to make up for his wrongs to the very people he hurt?

·      Does the abuser recognize why his victims do not want to be around him?

·      Does he willingly honor this desire?

 

    This is what I teach survivors of abuse to use when trying to see if the abuser is safe. These principles can guide us as we examine ourselves in turning from whatever sin we have adopted. 

 

What is Personal Worship

 

WHAT IS PERSONAL WORSHIP?

Augustine expressed the feeling of every Christian heart when he began his classic work Confessions by writing “You move us to delight in praising You; for You have formed us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in You.  Lord, teach me to know and understand which of these should be first, to call on You, or to praise You; and likewise to know You, or to call upon You.”  The Christian finds deep satisfaction when she calls on, praises, and comes to know her Lord. Since the fall this longing is only met through personal discipline to resist the forces of the world, the flesh, and the devil which each conspires to place obstacles between the Christian and her experience of her Savior.

Paul tells us how to overcome the ever-present obstacles to personal worship in Romans 12:1. “Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.” The word translated “urge” is the Greek word “parakaleo.” Parakaleo literally means to call alongside. It is often translated as “comfort” or “comforter.” The image that best helps me understand Paul’s meaning occurred after I was examined to become an elder. Another elder came beside me and placed his arm around my shoulder. He explained to me a weakness found during my examination. He applied gentle pressure that reassured me. Through that pressure he began to guide me to move to the front of the sanctuary for the beginning of the worship service. Joel Smith’s strong, gentle, and directive arm comforted me in the face of my weakness while also showing what I needed to do next…which was enter the worship of our God. Paul is coming beside you saying, “Let’s worship Jesus.” He shows us that our deepest longing is satisfied in a “spiritual service of worship.” Let’s consider this verse as a guide to developing our personal worship.

 

PRESENT YOUR BODY

Worship is something that occurs in our bodies. Paul does not allow for a distinction between the physical and the spiritual. He sees us as a unified whole. Worship involves the spiritual component of our being but it is expressed through our physical bodies. Our eyes close; our voice rises to heaven; our ears are attentive to the truth found in the music, the Scripture, and the prayers we offer; our heads bow while our hands are lifted. Worship involves our bodies being offered to God. Be aware of your body as you enter worship.

Our bodies become the living sacrifice we offer to God. A sacrifice does not have the right of self-determination. As we offer our bodies we remember 1 Corinthians 6:20. “For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” If I can begin worship with a moment of silence in which I actively relinquish my body to God—not protecting my dignity (2 Samuel 6:14-22)—I thereby align myself with the purpose of worship. In that moment—which can become normative in my life—I am free from my plans; my strategies; and the pressures of meeting the expectations of those around me. In that moment Jesus is Lord and I am given over to Him. This is the beginning or your “spiritual service of worship.”

In the chapters that follow we will expand this idea of worship. As you learn more about prayer, scripture reading, meditation, and even silence, begin each discipline by presenting your body as a living sacrifice. Give yourself without any reservations to Jesus.

 

FURTHER CONSIDERATIONS

1)      Re-read Romans 12:1 and write out your observations about the image of worship it presents.

 

 

2)      How can you specifically follow the instructions in this verse?

 

 

3)      What obstacles do you personally face in presenting your body as a living sacrifice?

 

 

4)      Read 2 Samuel 6:14-22. What needs to occur in your life to allow you to live consistent with David’s word in v. 22?

 

 

5)      What do you want to see change in your life during the next thirteen weeks?