Last week my son Michael had
surgery on his jaws. In watching his
recovery, I learned something about kindness.
When he was asked to rate his pain on a scale of one to ten, the lowest
number he gave it was an eight--and that
was while he was taking morphine. If
ever there is a time when we feel we have a right to be a little short with
people, it is when we face adversity and pain.
Even so, I witnessed the strength of a man who spoke gently to
everyone—no I really mean everyone—who came into his room. He went out of his way to thank those who
brought him medicine or food, those who cleaned the room, and his family and
friends who visited him. I thought to
myself, “That is what kindness looks like.”
Several months ago, I wrote a blog about love, which is patient. I started a second blog looking at love as
kind, but I could not get very far with it until I saw Michael in the hospital.
1
Corinthians 13:4 says that “…love is kind.”
Most Christians know this and, of course, affirm it’s truth. What is kindness? The Greek word that is translated kindness is
“Chrestos.” “Chrestos” is rooted in the
idea of usefulness. “Chrestos” seeks to
be beneficial to it’s recipient. Jesus
uses this word in Matthew 11:30 as he describes His yoke as “easy.” That is to say, it is kind, or beneficial. It is also used of God’s dealings with all
mankind in Luke 6:35. Maybe the clearest
use is in Romans 2:4 where it is used multiple times reminding us that it is
the very kindness of God, not his wrath but his beneficence, that brings repentance
to our lives.
The
supreme example of the kindness of love, is Jesus. I think of Jesus on the cross. Again, we could easily excuse Him for being
focused on what He was dealing with at that time. And yet, we read an enigmatic exchange
between Jesus, His mother, and the only apostle who remained with Him at the
cross, John. In John 19:26-27 we read,
“When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing
nearby, He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your
mother!’ From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.”
I see two
elements of Jesus’ kindness that can also define our love. First, I see a deep gratitude in Jesus. He was aware that neither Mary, nor John had
to be there with Him. Both were present
and could face scorn for their support of Jesus. Peter, out of fear of being connected with
Jesus, denied he even knew him. The
mother of the blind man whom Jesus healed was unwilling to stand up for her
son, see John 9:20-23. But John and Mary
honored Jesus by facing potential personal loss by being with Him at this
crucial moment. Jesus thanked them by
speaking directly to them.
We
develop gratitude--from which we can be kind--when we recognize the real
beneficence of people around us. In our
cynical age, we are tempted to doubt the intentions of other people. We may want to ask, “What’s in it for them?” Sometimes the only thing they receive is the
pleasure of loving us. It is possible
that many of our actions are tainted by self-centeredness and other sins. And yet, God seems to indicate that some of
our works are actually good, Ephesians 2:10.
Rich Mullins puts it this way, “We have a love that’s not as patient as
your was…but we do love now and then.”
Sometimes, the Christian is filled with the Spirit of God and is enable
to actually, genuinely care for someone else.
The ability to see this genuine care produces deep gratitude in our hearts.
The
second element of kindness is respect.
Look at the respect Jesus showed to John, "the disciple whom
Jesus loved.” In saying “Behold your
mother…” Jesus tells John, “I know that you can take care of her. She is precious to me, and I have faith that
you can and will love her. I trust you
John.” Jesus knows John, whose name used
to be ‘son of thunder’ but who would henceforth be called, ‘the disciple whom
Jesus loved.’ Jesus ignores John’s flaws
and honors him by asking him to accomplish a significant task. Respect is a
beautiful element of kindness.
What if
we could see the purity of the people of God?
What if we could ignore their failures and see the goodness that God has
produced in their lives? What if we
treated each other with the respect commensurate with the saints of God? Our world and our churches would be much kinder.
I pray
that God will grant me a deeper, purer kindness. I want to develop the gratitude and respect
for others which will invariably produce love, which is kind.
