Love is Kind

Last week my son Michael had surgery on his jaws.  In watching his recovery, I learned something about kindness.  When he was asked to rate his pain on a scale of one to ten, the lowest number he gave it was an eight--and that was while he was taking morphine.  If ever there is a time when we feel we have a right to be a little short with people, it is when we face adversity and pain.  Even so, I witnessed the strength of a man who spoke gently to everyone—no I really mean everyone—who came into his room.  He went out of his way to thank those who brought him medicine or food, those who cleaned the room, and his family and friends who visited him.  I thought to myself, “That is what kindness looks like.”  Several months ago, I wrote a blog about love, which is patient.  I started a second blog looking at love as kind, but I could not get very far with it until I saw Michael in the hospital.

                1 Corinthians 13:4 says that “…love is kind.”  Most Christians know this and, of course, affirm it’s truth.  What is kindness?  The Greek word that is translated kindness is “Chrestos.”  “Chrestos” is rooted in the idea of usefulness.  “Chrestos” seeks to be beneficial to it’s recipient.  Jesus uses this word in Matthew 11:30 as he describes His yoke as “easy.”  That is to say, it is kind, or beneficial.  It is also used of God’s dealings with all mankind in Luke 6:35.  Maybe the clearest use is in Romans 2:4 where it is used multiple times reminding us that it is the very kindness of God, not his wrath but his beneficence, that brings repentance to our lives.

                The supreme example of the kindness of love, is Jesus.  I think of Jesus on the cross.  Again, we could easily excuse Him for being focused on what He was dealing with at that time.  And yet, we read an enigmatic exchange between Jesus, His mother, and the only apostle who remained with Him at the cross, John.  In John 19:26-27 we read, “When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’  Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.”

                I see two elements of Jesus’ kindness that can also define our love.  First, I see a deep gratitude in Jesus.  He was aware that neither Mary, nor John had to be there with Him.  Both were present and could face scorn for their support of Jesus.  Peter, out of fear of being connected with Jesus, denied he even knew him.  The mother of the blind man whom Jesus healed was unwilling to stand up for her son, see John 9:20-23.  But John and Mary honored Jesus by facing potential personal loss by being with Him at this crucial moment.  Jesus thanked them by speaking directly to them.

                We develop gratitude--from which we can be kind--when we recognize the real beneficence of people around us.  In our cynical age, we are tempted to doubt the intentions of other people.  We may want to ask, “What’s in it for them?”  Sometimes the only thing they receive is the pleasure of loving us.  It is possible that many of our actions are tainted by self-centeredness and other sins.  And yet, God seems to indicate that some of our works are actually good, Ephesians 2:10.  Rich Mullins puts it this way, “We have a love that’s not as patient as your was…but we do love now and then.”  Sometimes, the Christian is filled with the Spirit of God and is enable to actually, genuinely care for someone else.  The ability to see this genuine care produces deep gratitude in our hearts.

                The second element of kindness is respect.  Look at the respect Jesus showed to John, "the disciple whom Jesus loved.”  In saying “Behold your mother…” Jesus tells John, “I know that you can take care of her.  She is precious to me, and I have faith that you can and will love her.  I trust you John.”  Jesus knows John, whose name used to be ‘son of thunder’ but who would henceforth be called, ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved.’  Jesus ignores John’s flaws and honors him by asking him to accomplish a significant task.  Respect is a beautiful element of kindness.

                What if we could see the purity of the people of God?  What if we could ignore their failures and see the goodness that God has produced in their lives?  What if we treated each other with the respect commensurate with the saints of God?  Our world and our churches would  be much kinder.

                I pray that God will grant me a deeper, purer kindness.  I want to develop the gratitude and respect for others which will invariably produce love, which is kind.